To Life To Life L'chaim

I’m not in the best of moods right now.  The CPA exam is really stressing me out and I dislike having to study for it over the summer.  It is probably gonna be one of the hardest exams I’ve ever taken in my life, if not the hardest.  Ahhh tonight I have to schedule when im gonna take it.  I found out recently that one of my guy friends who I cared about and trusted a lot is really a jerk.  He messaged me on fb about a week ago asking me when im free to do something sexual with him.  I don’t want to be talked to like that.  It just shows that he doesn’t care about my friendship anymore and that all he wants is to fool around with me.  I messaged him back the next day telling him that I didn’t appreciate the way he talked to me the night before.   After that, he wasn’t texting me for a while, which I was happy about because I had decided already that I don’t want anything to do with him anymore, and I seriously thought that I would never hear from him again, but then he messaged me last night talking to me in a bad way, tho not as bad as the first time.  I just ignored his message.  Hopefully he gets the picture.  What he did really hurts a lot—prob the worse thing that a guy has ever done to me—esp since I actually cared about him as more than friends.  I don’t want anything to do with this guy friend anymore unless he starts treating me right.  I guess, in a way, what happened is a good thing though because im finally able to let go of him and start meeting new guys when possible.  I feel like a big reason of why im sooo unhappy is because I feel like basically all I do is hang out with my family (my mom, my grandma, my mom and my grandma, my parents, etc), although I always love spending time with them, and I really wanna spend more time than I do hanging out with friends/other people around my own age.  Things rarely work out the way I want them to.  I got sooo lucky last week when I got to go out west coast swing dancing!  That night was amazing!  Im sick of things failing, not being able to make the plans, or things just blowing up in my face.  Im finding it very difficult even to make plans to go out ballroom dancing.  Im upset that I couldnt get this great picture of a groundhog in a tree in my backyard and then a cute one of him on the ground.  I was so close to getting the one of the groundhog in the tree and I would have gotten the picture, but my dad messed up my focus :( I really really wanted that picture and that is a picture I may never get again.  It was seriously the picture perfect shot and besides how many people have a picture of a groundhog in a tree.  I couldnt get the picture of the groundhog on the ground because my camera was so low on battery at that point that I couldnt even take a picture, and it was that low on battery because I kept my camera on for a while hoping that the groundhog would climb lower in the tree so I could get that shot again.  Some guy who I used to be friends with in the past has been talking to me a lot recently.  I really wanna be friends with him because I need more people to hang out with.  The thing is I don’t know if I can trust him, I wanna but I don’t know if I can.  I am very tempted to hang out with him no matter what we do.  I feel like with most of my friends im always the backup plan, the option.  A different guy who I used to be friends with stopped being friends with me and removed me as a friend on facebook because he believed some rumor that girls he knew told him and believed that I was the one who told him that.  Im not gonna say what the rumor is but it was bad and I know I didnt say it.  I really hate that he didnt believe me when I told him that I never told anyone that.   I was very open with him and I thought he knew me better and knew that I wasn’t that type of girl.  I would never say something like that, especially since it makes me sound bad.  What hurts the most about that is that he didnt believe me, not that he removed me as a friend or stopped being friends with me.  I feel soo alone right now, at least I have my amazing family.  I am in such a bad mood right now.